What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
