just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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