I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
