HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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