I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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