I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize