Are we in a gay sports bar?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
