We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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