hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
