it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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