i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
