question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
