Sry I called you an 8
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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