Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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