Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
