He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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