I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
