I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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