normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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