I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
