Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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