so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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