It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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