Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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