he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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