Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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