what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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