And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
and you said cock pushups were impossible
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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