BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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