I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
That was an excessively violent trivia night
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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