You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
