Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
