So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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