we need to drink 2009 down the drain
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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