How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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