You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
