Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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