I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
