therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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