I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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