Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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