butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Randomize
