dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
When are your genitals available?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
