I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
