just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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