when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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