I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
