STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
