She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
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One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
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$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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