Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
