i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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