You can't motorboat a personality
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
