I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
