dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
