Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.

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  (248): It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet. http://tfl.nu/g9yd
  Replies (0) Good night (1293) Bad night (597)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  So, how was the dinner

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.

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  (406): So, how was the dinner (1-406): Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive. http://tfl.nu/9pb0
  Replies (4) Good night (592) Bad night (1230)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute

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  (214): I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute http://tfl.nu/955u
  Replies (12) Good night (915) Bad night (1459)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk

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  (803): im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk http://tfl.nu/jksc
  Replies (39) Good night (4051) Bad night (870)
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  (650): View more from California

  I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history

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  (650): I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history http://tfl.nu/ot0p
  Replies (19) Good night (1172) Bad night (2598)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"

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  (978): why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm" http://tfl.nu/ynyp
  Replies (64) Good night (6456) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"

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  (208): U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!" http://tfl.nu/ttkj
  Replies (99) Good night (26579) Bad night (1342)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.

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  (305): If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls. http://tfl.nu/m95d
  Replies (8) Good night (5741) Bad night (1058)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.

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  (774): well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday. http://tfl.nu/vkd1
  Replies (5) Good night (5919) Bad night (1140)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  like...quickly.

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  (814): Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision? (814): like...quickly. http://tfl.nu/6pc5
  Replies (3) Good night (686) Bad night (301)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.

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  (203): In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window. http://tfl.nu/vk8f
  Replies (6) Good night (468) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.

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  (562): It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which. http://tfl.nu/ynpd
  Replies (10) Good night (1144) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.

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  (787): It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life. http://tfl.nu/p96v
  Replies (1) Good night (531) Bad night (227)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D

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  (402): Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D http://tfl.nu/eelv
  Replies (2) Good night (572) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.

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  (302): I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats. http://tfl.nu/iukq
  Replies (1) Good night (446) Bad night (122)

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