I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag