WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.