508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
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just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
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He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF