You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
