and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
