I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
