WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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