he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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