I CAN MOONWALK!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
