who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
