All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
