He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
