hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He shit in the fireplace
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize