ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
