His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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