Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I can't turn off my feet"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
