He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize